Not all knowledge is good…

Discernment.

Dictionary.com defines it as:
(noun):  the faculty of discerning; discrimination; acuteness of judgment 
and understanding.the act or an instance of discerning.

That’s well and good but we must know how to define discerning to have a full understanding. Back to dictionary.com:

discerning (adjective): good or outstanding judgment and understanding

As a Christian, spiritual discernment is a gift. Being able to sense shifts in the atmosphere and recognize things in others. Having a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit to understand situations and actions needed.

However, with discernment sometimes comes burden. For instance, I often get intuitive feelings when something is about to happen or when something isn’t right. When something is very impacting, these discernments are often enough to make me feel physically ill and I have to pray immediately. I don’t always know what they’re for.

The worst one I’ve had in my life came during my Probability and Statistics math lab my sophomore year in college. It was a Thursday and I had this nagging feeling that something was wrong. I ignored it until it escalated and I felt as though I may become physically ill. I left school and went home to pray and lie down. My older brother was killed in a car accident the following Saturday morning.

I believe that these are nudges the Holy Spirit uses to begin preparing me for something that is coming. I begin to pray in the Spirit and the Lord begins safe guarding me for what is to come. Losing my brother was tragic, he and I were extremely close. Had the Lord not begun ministering to me days before it happened, I’m not sure what change in me may have happened. I was placed on depression medication for a short period following his death because 7 months later, I was still not quite myself most of the time and I recognized that.

I had one of these feelings today at work so strong that I had to come home. I walked to my car and sat there and prayed for 45 minutes before I left to drive home. Today was different. You see, the Lord has been whispering to me in my quiet time to prepare me for something in my life. As we often do, I’ve been attempting to discredit that this could be true and that it’s more likely that my flesh is toying with me. Today, I received a message from a concerned friend that spoke confirmation into my spirit.

So, sometimes discernment is knowledge that can break you. Can shake you to the very heart of yourself. Sometimes you know something that no one knows you know and their charade continues until you’re released to acknowledge it. Obedience is key.

People love to quote that God will fight our battles if we only stay still. Or “vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.” When you’re in the fire, when you’re in the middle of this valley and you’re breaking…so many things go through your mind. Knowing that the Lord has me. Knowing that the fact that he loves me beyond all brokenness and will be faithful in this and through it to to the redemption. Knowing that I’m not alone, even in my knowing period.

While not all knowledge is good knowledge. Not all things I discern are good things. I know that God is doing a new thing. God takes each thing that is set to destroy me and turns it for good and not evil. God restores in abundance. If we but trust, his Word will not return void.