I refuse to pick up the offense

So in our small group a few months ago, one of our leaders spoke a truth that has resonated so loudly with me and the other ladies in our group. When someone acts or speaks in a way that upsets you, you can refuse to pick up the offense.

Man…that would preach!

What does this mean to me? Well…when a situation arises that my reaction is to take offense, I can choose to process that emotion and find the root right then and there, deal with it, and move on. I do NOT have to pick that up and carry it around.

I am not the best friend. I love the idea of friendship. I love deeply. I am fiercely loyal and defend people I love. I am accepting of people, whether or not they look, act, believe the way that I do.

I do not always remember to come out of my bubble of what is happening right now and deal with stuff. I internalize a lot of feelings and emotions because that is how I am able to process and analyze things around me. In the course of this, I don’t always remember to check on other people like I should. I sometimes fear “bothering” or “annoying” people and don’t reach out.

Now, I still love these people. I still claim them. I still know that they’re my peeps. However, I’ve found that this is not a common trait people want to have in a friendship. I’ve got a handful of “tossed to the side” or “they no longer talk to me” best friends to show for that.

Of late, I find myself often in a situation where I realize that people I consider to be friends no longer take the time to endorse me amongst their friend groups. I could allow this to become a session in which I bash myself and think up all of the poor comparison pieces that I should really develop in myself better OR I could refuse to accept the offense my flesh wants to take and instead recognize that I have many faults but also have many great attributes. I could be thankful that Jesus is a friend that sticks closer than a brother and move forward knowing that I’m in a season of leaning on him for companionship. Either way, I must choose. #choosetoleaveit #dontpickitup #itsnotworthit #justleavethatthere