Breathe. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Sometimes everything is a struggle. Sometimes I can look around me and see the times that I know that I haven’t been given what I “deserve” and I’m offended.

I almost never think about that in terms of the justice I’ve deserved but received grace instead. I don’t look at the moments that I should’ve applied grace but chose not to.

In my self-edifying, I’m focusing on how I’ve been treated in a fashion that is unfair. Comparing myself to someone else and feeling as if I somehow should be rewarded and using the lack of that to fuel my own self-pity or anger of being treated “unfairly.”

Sometimes you don’t get to walk through the door that you really wanted to. Sometimes you have all the characteristics that say you should be able to do this thing and still you aren’t chosen. That can make you feel as if things (or even people) are stacked against you and there’s no way to win.

It’s in these moments you must make a choice. Will you dwell in that and point out each shortcoming you’re faced with or will you trust that God has a plan and that your path is still directed? Choosing that first path will mean you’re allowing yourself to be robbed of your joy. You’re going to be devoid of purpose and removing your eyes from the Planner…so naturally, you’ll only be able to sustain the emotions that you yourself can experience on your own (and because nothing good lives in us…that’s a whole lot of nothing good). Operating from that place is exhausting. You’re relying on “self” to sustain you, you’re probably negative, you’re always on empty, you’re using your own voice and platform for discord rather than spreading the overflow/abundance of love and joy the Holy Spirit allows us to operate in.

We must stop and refocus ourselves to be aligned with what the Holy Spirit says. We must allow our flesh to be cast aside (by conscious decision). We must put forth the effort to say our disappointment matters less than our obedience. We must choose to have our “self” be less than what the Lord is trying to bring us to if we simply trust.

TRUST.

Let go, blindly, without knowing where the destination is. Knowing that our Heavenly Father loves us enough to plan every minute detail. To pay attention to the small pieces. To know that there will NEVER be something we choose for ourselves that is better than what he could choose for us. If we will simply trust and let go, he can use those disappointments to lead us to the place he intends us to be.

We must choose trust. We must choose obedience. We must choose to be second.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.