This is something that’s been kicking around in my spirit. I don’t know if it will be published or just for me to get out of my head. I guess it will depend on where this lands.
I’ve been working for my current employer for (almost) five years. In those years I’ve held a few positions across different LOBs. I’ve worked under multiple Supervisors, some great leaders and others who were finding their way. I’ve been a good boss to some folks but also own that I was less than stellar when I first promoted and was finding MY own way. (If you’re reading this and fall into that latter category, I apologize sincerely).
I’ve been able to impact many people through my various roles and involvements (not always positively, admittedly, but I’ve worked diligently in that regard and recognize the amount of growth I’ve had). Nevertheless, in each role I’ve held, I’ve been in the position to influence others daily.
Looking back on my childhood and young adult years, I can see the hand of God working in my life. I’ve been able to see (in hindsight) my Father has often spared me from situations and/or relationships that I thought made sense at the time. I’m forever grateful for his involvement and faithfulness to me.
In regards to my current life focuses, there have been some points of frustration in my five year journey. Things have been shared by others about me or branded toward me unfairly and inaccurately. Things I’ve worked very diligently to disprove in time. I’ve always believed that my hard work and dedication to my role and company would eventually show the truth.
Naturally, along this path, I’ve had goals to expand my career path and promote further. Knowing that self-awareness and growth are crucial, I often:
1. Reflect on what I’m currently doing
2. Set my next goal
3. Adjust course accordingly
4. Full speed ahead until I meet said goal
5. Realign. Rinse. Repeat.
I’ve interviewed for many positions in my search for further advancement. I’ve taken on new roles and been advised by supervisors that I “meet or exceed expectations” in ranking. I’ve spent hours looking for ways to help others around me. I’ve implemented new things to solve for issues. I’ve reimagined old processes. I’ve studied trends and impacts to help formulate new plans. I’ve done a lot BUT it always seems that the thing I desire isn’t mine to achieve.
This verse from Proverbs has been popping up for me more and more often. “Many are the plans in a man’s heart but it is the Lord’s purpose that will prevail.”-Proverbs 19:21
I’ve begun to reflect on obstacles I face but can’t name, see, or seem to overcome. Things that don’t make sense or seem misaligned. I’ve noticed that the harder I try to reach this goal, the more I seem to hit these hidden pieces. If you have ever faced something and no matter how hard you worked, how much you poured in, how many hours spent, etc., you felt you just couldn’t seem to make headway…you will understand what I’m saying here.
I say all of these things leading up to this because I’ve come to the realization that when my desires don’t line up with the plan for my life, they aren’t attainable. I can choose to expend all of myself to reach a goal that my Father may be shielding me from.
He knew that the place I’ve been over the last few years wouldn’t have been a good place for me to reach that goal. He knew that my tendency for taking on more than I should (but with good intentions) would not be good for me if given more responsibility. He knew that my chasing after and achieving an expanded work title would not sustain me on the path he has for me. He knew the plan all along. He still does. He’s still bringing me to that expected end and sees all of the pieces there.
Outside of work, I also serve in various ministries within my church. I was thinking about how differently I approach those places. Do you know what the difference is? When I’m serving in ministry, it doesn’t bother me if no one acknowledges or appreciates the hard work that goes in. I’m not worried about where my next “promotion” in the Kingdom will be. I’m not focusing on what other positions I can achieve at all. My only focus is on the Kingdom and being available and obedient. To serve joyfully with my whole heart, allowing my Father to use me. It’s not about me.
Now, am I saying that promotions at work are evil? Not at all. Am I saying that working in the corporate world is not something you can do and serve God? Again, not at all.
To be clear, my motives for doing what I do haven’t been to position myself for advancement in my work place because I truly genuinely enjoy helping others and investing in them. However, I’ve been increasingly frustrated with my inability to achieve something that I’m working so hard toward. I’ve allowed myself to tie so much of who I “am” into my inability to be recognized/appreciated by Sr leaders at my place of employment. I’m doing so, I’ve belittled the many people I have touched and impacted in exchange for what I believe I’m not achieving.
I don’t believe that the plan over my life has anything to do with my “grand” work achievements. I don’t believe that having an additional title increases my ability to be used in the Kingdom.
I do believe that I should do all things as if unto the Lord (and that includes not grumbling about the pieces I feel aren’t up to the plans I have for me). I do believe that the word of the Lord will always prevail and that exhausting myself to disprove someone’s opinion is actually counter productive. I do believe that there is no title here on this Earth that compares with what my Father says about me.
I can recognize that these things I’ve not “achieved” have been the hand of my Father sparing me. Sparing me from things of little importance that would only have increased in consuming my time had they been granted in my time table.
I can recognize that my Father, who loves me, wants so much more for me than what I can ask or think. I can recognize that the season of storm I’ve faced for quite some time now feels as though it is nearing an end and I know there is a morning coming. I’m choosing to acknowledge that I don’t have the answers. I don’t know what is best for me. I need my Father to line my path out and direct my steps for sure.
I’m thankful for a Father who loves me too much to waste my time. A Father who reminds me of who I am. A Father who speaks to my heart gently and nudges me toward my expected end.
What does all of this mean for me? A shift in perspective. An aligning of my Kingdom mindset to my work life. A shifting in focus to ensure that all I’m chasing after, what I most desire, all my whole fruits are going toward aligning my heart to my Father’s and that my greatest impact is truly my most intentional focus. ❤️
Just Between Me & Jesus 