If you’re new here, hi…I’m Teresa. I’m a grateful believer in Jesus Christ and I’m currently in a season of healing following divorce. For this entry, I’ve felt led to share some of the most raw and vulnerable pieces of my healing journey so far. If this is for you, I see you there and so does the Lord. Be encouraged.
Something I don’t think enough people talk about with divorce is how difficult it can be to find your way back to YOU.
Don’t get me wrong…I’ve always been ME but going from Teresa (wife and mother) to Teresa (single co-parent) with way more time on her hands than she’s had in 15-16 years is not easy.
Regardless of the stage I’ve been in my life, my faith has always been the core of who I am. My relationship with my Father has always been where I found identity. I’ve always been able to navigate the troublesome waters with the Lord by my side. This experience rocked me to the core of who I am more than any other season I’ve walked.
What I’ve realized as I’ve navigated the 8 months after filing for divorce is I previously spent so much time relying on my relationships with other believers and like-minded people. I had a relationship with the Lord, of course, but it wasn’t until my relationships with those believers around me shifted unexpectedly that I saw the impact of that. Meaning when the unfathomable happened and I “lost” many of those relationships…I didn’t know what to do. I had expected I would lose people in my life because of my divorce, that is inevitable. I did NOT expect it to happen the way it did though.
I spent several months learning to navigate my faith anew because of that. I was hurting and struggling to trust in relationships (outside of my closest best friends who honestly were lifesavers in this space). I struggled with things that had been spoken over/about me from individuals who I now recognize felt they were helping (but were incorrect). I never left my faith or abandoned everything but I definitely had to spend some time understanding the root of that hurt and that it didn’t correlate directly to the love of my Father for me. I had to really sort through and seek answers, I had to ask a LOT of questions. I had to be real and raw and acknowledge some things in me I didn’t realize were broken. I had to the let the Lord do a LOT of healing (and he still is).
It didn’t happen over night, making my way back. It was definitely a trial by fire situation though. Several months later, I finally identified the root of that hurt as “humans are fallible.” I KNEW that but there are some people in our lives that we don’t expect to ever hurt or betray us. People we trust implicitly. OUR people. It’s important to learn and understand that people WILL fail but God remains the same. We cannot place the core of our faith in those around us but we also cannot live life completely guarded and trust no one.
I worked in recovery for many years and I have witnessed the testimony of so many “back from rock bottom” stories. In every testimony, there is ALWAYS a period of the worst heartbreak and despair before the breaking happens and the dawn comes forward. What I can tell you is that is true in all situations and seasons of hardship. I did reach a moment of “I can’t carry this anymore” a few months into this journey. I laid on my face on my bedroom floor because I couldn’t fathom sitting on my bed in that moment. I didn’t have the strength. I cried out to the Lord with every question and heartache I’d been carrying. I lamented. I allowed him to pull those pieces out of me.
Here’s the hard part – the WORK came after. It wasn’t instantaneous achievement. I started praying the Lord would reveal and remove any people in my life that shouldn’t be there and place the right people in my path. I prayed the Lord would open my heart to anyone he was placing there. I unexpectedly lost one of my closest friends after this through a revealed set of untruths and lies. I grieved the loss of our friendship heavily (and still do on some days) but I also gained the re-entrance of a childhood friend in my life whose children have become some of my kiddos’ close friends and had another former adult friend re-enter my life with her kiddos who are also a phenomenal set of friends to my babies.
When we are in our darkest seasons, it HURTS. There will be painful portions for us to navigate. There will be moments when you feel like you simply can’t move ahead. There may even be moments when you find yourself breaking down. The loss may feel unbearable. HOLD ON. Trust in the Lord. Press in and ask him to reveal opportunities for healing in your life. Trust that he has a plan.
I can assure you, I’m living proof he is faithful. I’ve seen his work in my life time and time again. I’ve seen seemingly hopeless situations be orchestrated to the good of those who love him time and time again.
He takes our broken pieces, our mourning, our despair, our ashes and exchanges them for wholeness, gladness, peace, and beauty. The darkness you’re enduring won’t even compare to the joy that’s coming.
If I can be praying with you in your season of hardship, please let me know. I’m happy to cover you and remind you of the promises of the Lord. ♥️
Just Between Me & Jesus 